Our Two Days

The second the plane landed I had this terrible feeling of dread - thinking I really couldn't do this again. I couldn't believe I was putting myself through this process - again. Mothering a baby, loving a baby and then leaving. The night before the foster mom brought Eli to me, I was really having some anxiety about the fact that I was leaving one child at home while I was traipsing around a third world country preparing to ruin Rosemary's life by adopting another baby. Fortunately my good friend Rachel (who is also adopting a second baby and you'll see pictures of her with Eli soon - she surprised me with some when she came down a few weeks ago) warned me about feeling this way. So - I was prepared and decided I needed some sleep - and then I remembered this wasn't my idea in the first place. I did not plan to adopt a second child. When I found out Rosemary's birth mother was pregnant again and was going to make an adoption plan, I kind of freaked out. I wasn't ready. But - you know, that didn't matter. Things fell into place so amazingly well after I prayed about it, I knew this was God's idea. When I prayed for a baby, I asked God to give me a child or children - whatever his plan was for me. So - when I went to bed on Friday night, I went knowing I had made this decision to adopt on faith alone and that's how I was going to get through it. God's idea, not mine. It would all be okay.

And it was....It is okay. If I could have written down everything I wanted in a baby, he is it. He's sweet, cuddly, has a personality that will survive his sister(!), he's beautiful - and he sleeps!!! Yes - that's right. My precious, darling son slept until 9:45am this morning and didn't wake up at all through the night. I kept waking up to make sure he was breathing! But, most of all this feels right. I mean it. I know I'm his mommy. And, more importantly - from the beginning of time, he was meant to be my baby.

Enjoy the picture parade!

A Birthday Surprise

Happy Birthday, Aunt Stacie!!!!

This is the best I could do! He fell asleep!

A sleeping baby and me in my donut pj's Rosie and Eli's aunt Stacie gave me for Christmas. Everyone knows I love my pajamas. A girl can never have too many!

Happy Birthday! We love you!

He's Mine.

Yesterday I arrived in Guatemala City (more like early this morning - after midnight - my flight was delayed.) Mr. Eli was placed in my arms at 9am this morning and he's perfect. I have so much I want to say, but I could either say it or go to bed and sleep when Eli sleeps. And - since he's sleeping with me tonight (co-sleeping is recommended with international adoption - I've made it safe, I promise) I am going to make this rather brief. But - I know so many of you are dying to see photos and I wanted to make good on my promise. So, enjoy the photos. So far Eli hasn't slept for more than 20 minutes (except at breakfast with my attorney - love her!!) so I fear he sleeps like his sister - which means ....not at all. Wish me luck!

I was smooching him and trying to take a picture of us at the same time - I meant the smooch to come after the picture had been taken, but well - I need a faster camera - and some sleep.

I'm not a photographer, okay? But - I wanted to get a quick shot of him in his Dinosaur outfit which is so cute. He's still pretty little. This is a 3 month and it's kind of big on him, I think.

I have more photos which I haven't loaded on the computer or they aren't fit for viewing because they are terrible! I have really just been enjoying him today. You know, he really was meant to be my baby. Notice the title, "He's Mine." He really is my baby. When I held him, it was like he knew I was his mommy (which I've been teaching him today - and he is saying "Ma" but I can't be sure that's not something else.) I know you are all pitying me thinking he knows me and saying my name. But, it's true! He's a genious!

Love you all!

"Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man!!!"

Oh - I just want to hold him soooo bad. I received these pictures today from his 3 month check-up yesterday. He is doing well. He weighs 12 pounds, 2 ounces and is 23 inches long. He's getting to be a big boy - and he's looking more like his sister everyday. He even has some of her same expressions.

I had planned to visit and I will admit I am quite devastated that I couldn't work out my flight before Christmas , but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Besides, I think Rosie needs me here right now after having been gone so long to training for my job. I am hoping to visit at the end of December.

Here are some adorable pics of my little Eli who decided to open his eyes! Beatiful eyes.

PA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a really nice surprise when I opened my email and found Pre-Approval. Now our file can move into PGN and should - this week! For the newcomers - I've posted definitions for these crazy terms I keep using over to the side of the page.

Our little Eli's homecoming is getting closer. I'm really starting to miss him even though I haven't seen him. I will admit I've mostly been excited, terrified, worried over how having two babies is going to work out. But - now I'm just wanting to see him and hold him. I think I was really concerned that he wouldn't be coming home, but it does appear that he will - eventually!

And - now for a little political discussion.....
I am not plugging any particular politician here. But - I have never felt more supported by a member of congress than I have recently. As you all know, there has been some negative press concerning Guatemalan adoptions - and I can say I am fortunate to have the best attorney in Guatemala. She truly cares about the children and she is most certainly ethical. Our case is a good, straight forward case. I have children who were placed for adoption by a woman who would love and care for them if she could. She cannot. There was nowhere else for them to go and if the adoptions from Guatemala were suspended, they would be homeless. That is a fact. There are not enough homes for the children in process in Guatemala. There aren't enough homes for the children not in process and the stories are gut wrenching. Therefore, why wouldn't our government support the citizens who are in process of adopting children? Well - the truth is some of our officials do support us. Some - do not. Honestly, I have never been so determined to make my vote count next time.

I emailed my senators and representatives and explained there were other children out there - not just mine who would not have homes - they would be lost in the process. After seeing the list of members of congress who signed the letter to President Berger of Guatemala, I noticed there were a couple of important names from my state - missing. However, there was one name that stood out - who said YES to the children in need of homes. I called her office on Friday and they immediately transferred me to someone to tell my story. I don't know if my PA was due to that phone call - but I can say I saw her signature and she's got my vote from now on. I asked, she heard - and it just makes common sense. How can you say these kids don't need homes?

http://www.ccainstitute.org/BERGER_FINAL.pdf

Anyway - stay tuned as we begin the next phase in our process......... : )

Dank Doo or Something Like That....

On this Thanksgiving day I am reminded of last year. Mom, Dad and I went to visit Rosemary for the second time - and she was placed in my arms on Thanksgiving day. Remembering those visits is so bittersweet. I'm so grateful I had an opportunity to get to know my perfect daughter, to mother her, to sleep next to her, to study her every movement and memorize the way she looked. Yet, I remember all too well (even as I write this it comes back to me so clearly) the ache I had for her, the lump in my throat, the heaviness I felt at knowing I would leave her, getting on the plane and watching Guatemala fall behind me knowing she was there and I wasn't, going back to a house that never before seemed empty or lonely.

This Thanksgiving Day, however, was not bittersweet. It was fabulous and wonderful and peaceful and uneventful. I was able to enjoy Rosemary's presence - and oh is it a big one! She kept everyone in the house quite busy with her entertainment. Once her Aunt Carrie got her to take a nap (I was unsuccessful all day - but somehow Carrie managed to pull it off - and we were all thankful!) and she had a chance to fully wake up, she immediately realized she was the main source of entertainment for this Thanksgiving. This year football came in a very distant second. So - entertain she did! And she did not disappoint.

The title of my post is "Dank Doo or something like that...." and that's because when I came home from being gone for three weeks (ugh! I thought I would never get back home!) she was saying Dank Doo (Thank You) or some version of that for everything. She says it when she gives you something (which is constantly) and when she holds her hand out for something - or when you give her something or when she wants something.....like I said - it's for everything.

The night I came home, I gave her a bath and had her wrapped up in her froggy towel and I was overwhelmed by how much I missed her and how much I love her and I closed my eyes and sort of breathed "Thank You, God...." and she said "Dank Doo." She is saying so many words right now it's hard to count. But - she's been talking since she was a little over six months old. I keep telling everyone she is a genious. I mean, "durdle" for turtle, "dudderfly" for butterfly - I'm saying genious. : )

But - here's the exciting part...... She's walking!!!!!!!!!! And - I didn't miss it - or Mom and Dad are lying - whichever. But - I very clearly saw her take her first steps on Tuesday night (the night before her 14 month birthday) from my mom to her Aunt Carrie. And, she got so excited, she hugged her Aunt Carrie. Then, she walked (only a three or four steps at a time) to Mom, Dad, Carrie and I. Yesterday, she would stand up from a sitting position (she's been doing that for a while) and take a few steps. Then, more walking to people when my parents and grandma came over. Today - she walked to everyone (a few steps here and there) - it was soooo fun.

So, on this day - I have to give thanks or "Danks" and say the only thing that would have made the day more perfect was to have Eli here. I am very thankful for my family and how great they are with Rosie. Her Uncle Josh even fixed her hair after she messed it up ---and he did a good job!

Here are some photos of our day.

Walking from Grandada to Aunt Carrie. That's MamMam in the background. MamMam is Rosie's version of Mamaw for my grandma. She loves, loves, loves her MamMam.

Giving links to around 6 people or so at once- and then taking them back - and always saying, "Dank Doo", of course.

Deciding who to give the next link to....

...And the winner is grandada - as always.

And back to Aunt Carrie.

My Man.....

Here are new photos of my sweet baby. I got them today while I was in my training class.

He's 10 pounds, 7 ounces and 22.44 inches long (converted from centimeters.)

Please continue to pray for his health and safety and a safe, speedy adoption process for us and all other families in process in Guatemala right now.

Isn't he getting big? : )

My Little Lady Bug...

Here is my sweet baby on Halloween. She went on a whirlwind tour to show off her costume - chaperoned, of course, by her Nana. They were joined later by Grandad and concluded the evening with a dinner surrounded by her biggest fans (aunts, uncles, Mamaw.)

A Bedtime Story.....

I am really missing Rosie right now while I'm away at training for three weeks!!!! So - I thought I would create a little Rosemary tribute. This is a story about Rosie and bedtime....and her not wanting to go to sleep.... and how much I miss the bedtime routine - however crazy it is........

She usually runs away before I can dry her hair and put her socks on

My little bookworm....she loves to read and look at books and flip pages....she's been doing this since she was 6 months old...what a smart baby!

Obviously her hair requires a pony tail - always - or a bow. I sneak it out as she's drifiting off to sleep. Her favorite past time is removing books from the bookshelf and placing them on the floor. Those are usually the books we read every night.....at least 9 or 10 and sometimes more.

Perfection!

The bunny is one of her best friends. So is her grandpa. I think if she could just drag her grandpa around like the bunny, she would.

DNA!!!

Eli's DNA was taken on October 10th. Rosie's was taken last year on October 9th!



For those of you not familiar with the process in Guatemala, the US requires DNA tests to be administered to all children placed for adoption. The process requires the birthmom to go to a lab and the fostermom brings the baby in and the samples (swabs of saliva) are taken while both bmom (birthmom) and baby are in the same room. A photo is taken of bmom holding the baby and the photo and swabs are sent to an approved US lab to process. The results and a photo are then sent to the US embassy in Guatemala and a DNA map and photo is sent to the adoptive parents. This is only one of the safeguards used to make sure the process is a legitimate one.

So yesterday I got my packet and couldn't wait to open it to see more photos of my cute baby. He is so cute with little black fuzzy hair sticking up and he looks more and more like Rosie every day. I have chosen not to post the photo out of respect for the birthmother. She is such a precious woman to me and I do not want to dishonor her by posting a photo of her as she holds her baby for a few precious seconds. She was very visibly crying and I'm sure extremely sad. But, I have a photo of her and Rosie as well. What a gift to give my children: both of them with their birthmother only one year apart. I will treasure those photos for sure. And, of course it goes without saying they have the same birthmom, so it's extra special to see the resemblance.



So, also included in the packet was the DNA map of both bmom and Eli. So, of course I compared it to Rosie's. Birthmom's DNA is exactly the same on both print outs which came as no surprise. And, Rosie's and Eli's is similar in so many ways.

Any result over a 90% match is considered positive. Rosie's was 99.993% and Eli's was 99.999%

I'll let you all know when we get PA which is the next step in our process!

Welcome!

What a great way to start this blog. Rosie and I happily announce that we are adding another addition to our family. I find myself going through the same things I went through with Rosie's adoption: the worrying, the anxiety, the pain, the joy, the immense love I feel for this child I have not met. I saw this poem somewhere and thought it was perfect.

Almost every night I go outside and say my prayers and now (yet again) I find myself looking up at the stars, at the moon wondering what my precious baby is doing at that exact moment in time. I feel closer to God when I'm outside and I feel closer to my baby. It's sort of a therapy for me as I long to hold this baby and give him the love I know he desperately deserves. Somehow I feel as I gaze up at the sky for those precious few seconds he knows I'm there loving him, praying for him, wishing for him.

Welcome to our blog originally intended for Rosie and me. So, the title is perfect. Visit as often as you like, feel free to leave comments and follow us as we journey through the adoption of Rosie's biological little brother. We are so happy to have him. Welcome to our family Elias Joseph!

Rosie and Me....and Eli makes three!



Kisses in the Wind
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams,
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where I am... what's taking me so long,
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
--Unknown